Sunday, January 16, 2011

Believe

I believe in the things that I live and I see,
and I dream of things that hide inside me.
I believe in the proof of the things that I've touched
and I know that the joy comes from loving to much.
I once had a plan, were I'd do all I can,
show my wife, son, and daughter, I am a good man.
What I found out in time as you pass through your life
It is hard once you reach ,to maintain these great heights.
It wasn't about emotions becoming entwined
In the lives of our children, this was yours ,it was mine.
We silenced our voices, refused to let logic in,
To unclench our arms, let it sink in our skin.
Anger was easy, we forgot loves a chore
Hate just consumed us more and more.
Like an addiction we fed off the rage,
Unable to forgive or turn over the page.
I felt I was honest, in the past gave my best,
Now only in the passing "fuck you" is there a mention of sex.
Who gave up first, where can we place blame?
Somewhere in life it became just a game.
Wake up and work, for the o mighty dollar
Come home and listen to you bitch and holler.
Get out of the house to spend time with my kids
There was no time in the day life was better then this.
Where there were no eggshells layed out on the floor,
No reason to clench as you walked through the door.
I could simply stand and watch them both play,
Thats why went out and stayed there all day.
I came home one day to a life that was shattered,
Your threats became real, you  stole all that mattered.
It became real as I had paper in hand,
You now had a lawyer, and a new plan.
Blame me for everything, this plan you have mastered,
You couldn't get out unless there was a disaster.
All I can say is all in due time,
You will get what is coming , I will get what is mine.
I believe in the things that I live and I see,
I now dream of these past days that live on inside me.
I believe in the proof of the lives that I've touched
I now know theres no such thing as loving too much.



  

Too Simple

All of your anger, all your neglect,
fall deaf on a system designed to protect
it wan't my choices that led to your lies
how could a mother make there own child cry?
You took all the problems, that you and I had
Tyed them up with the fact that you don't love your dad
That your grandpa had issues with boundires in life
That your mom was the outlet of much of your strive
That you couldn't move past what you never had,
That your daughter was loved, just made you mad.
Now you stream out your Deamon's, take aim at my soul,
Attack with a passion showing your heart has grown cold.
You've lost sight of what matters, only see what you want,
Never the truth, just what you flaunt.
I ask of those people, to whom you have lied,
Why not ask me, it's only my life.
Or how bout my children, The ones that I love
Shouldn't they have a say , enough is enough.
No ring on this finger, at least I wore mine.
Your fingers always been baron, to me that was fine.
I was so bad, I spent time with my kids,
Taught them to be strong and to never fib.
I hugged them and kissed them, offered advice,
made sure they were kind, respectful and nice.
Took them out to the fields, ran extra practice,
Picked up odd jobs, so they'd never would ask us,
Can I have this, why can't we afford it?
I need new shoes these ones do not fit.
Now in the end, I know all that mattered
Was you walking away without your rep battered.
To do that you killed mine and all I have worked for
With out even a word as i walked out the door.
Just a house that is empty of smile and laughter,
That all mighty dollar is all that your after.
So keep up your stories make up those lies,
Stand and yell as your own child cries.
Keep up the hatred, just keep on stealing,
It's your own fate and future to the devil your dealing.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Own

With a warm kiss placed on that surprised look,
I watched the petals fall on the orchard wall.
We stood and discussed dreams, were they mine, were they yours?
I listened to the sound of your voice but never your words,
I looked for a smile that never cracked the cold exterior of your life.
I gave you everything I had to give, my time, my life, my insecurities.
You filtered them out and only past the worst back to me.
I was only yours in space , never in spirit.
You questioned everything, and could never accept that life simply was
It was never meant to be more, you were never meant to be mine.
 

What

Tell me what you hear when you search for the absence of sound.
I hear your voice in the filtering of all the chaos.
Tell me what you feel when there is simply nothing more to touch.
I felt your hand in mine on a cold winters day.
Tell me what you taste when you think of happiness.
I tasted cookies made with a laugh and a smile.
Tell me what you smell when you think of us.
I smell the sweat of hard work on a summers day.
Tell me what you dream of when you strain to see with your eye's closed.
I see your face smiling at me, waiting for me to open my eye's.

So

Little is it actually known,
Desperate in it's addiction as I watched it envelope you 
and I in our madness, the chaos, the burn. It ignored our 
innocence, it traded passion for menotany, life for complacency.
Neither tactile or reserved, both tangible an indefinable,
I never had a choice, we never had a chance.

What did you think?

What did you think,
When you woke up that day,
Came out and got the credit card,
Before I drove away.
What did you think,
When you had her call me
Asking to call her school,
To tell them how late she would be.
What did you think,
When your phone rang.
I needed your help,
For this allergies thing.
What did you think,
That you could just lie?
What kind of person,
Could watch there child cry?
What did you think,
I'd just go away?
I think of my children
All night and all day.
What did you think,
That she would just crumble.
Very soon we will all,
get to watch your lies tumble.
What did you think,
That you have some right form above?
That makes you an expert,
On fathers and love?
What did you think
You can be alone and grow old,
Just how much of my stuff,
Have you thrown out and sold.
What did you think,
She'd forget all I have taught her
You may have my son,
But she's forever my daughter.

Unfinished Morning

I watched it crash around me,
Kind of whimsical in it's spiral decay.
My night soaken eyes to lazy and
To tiered to push back the advance
Of mornings praise.
Light,and life bursting through my window,
Bouncing off my walls, and attacking any thought of sleep.
I almost missed its slow advance.

After

After I had left you,
You called me back into the room.
After I had spoke to you,
It was a little after noon.
After I had touched you,
Gently upon your knee,was
After I had asked you
If you would stay with me.
After you had closed your eyes,
I sat and watched you sleep.
After you were dreaming,
I listened to you breath.
After you were lost in night,
I got up from the bed.
After I thought all was lost
There you were instead.
After I had left you,
You called me back into the room
After I had kissed your head
It was a little after noon.

Appology

Slight of hand,
Twist of thought,
Breath of Love,
Angels Brought.
Part of day,
Most of night,
Touch of hand,
Thought to Fight.
Plane takes off,
Tear Falls Down,
New pain has come,
Heart needs found.
Days have come
Night's must go,
My appology,
She'll never know.

Veteran

I am the veteran you pass in the street
I am the veteran with nothing to eat.
I am the veteran with sacrifices made,
I am the veteran of freedom today.
I am the peasant who died on the line
I am the popper who gave all that was mine.
I am the child who burnt on the coals
I am the mother who screamed out her soul.
I am the veteran whose son went to war
I am the veteran who settled the score.
I am the veteran who's flag burned
I am the veteran who will NEVER learn.
I am the man in Tienanmen Square
I am the naked child whose soul was worn bare.
I am the martyr with a flag on my grave
I am the forgotten with nothing to mark what I gave.
I am the veteran with an unspeakable disease
I am the veteran who spawns death when I leave
I am the veteran who has always been abused
I am the veteran who will no longer be used.

Fireflies

A backdrop of fireflies
Burning under a blanket of fake snow
On a plastic reminder of holidays past.
Two lovers, in their dreams
Mocking and laughing at one another
Over things they would never admit to the other.
A delicate balance
Lying in the wake of a line
Seldom trampled on, but never ignored.
Unsubtle advances,
Hinting towards the others fallacies
Goes unnoticed and hides its trepidation.
Laughter once prevalent,
Waits and wonders in dreamsical memories
Only rekindled in nights slumber.
A mask,Stone cold and unhindered
Is all that now binds there tattered past.
A backdrop of fireflies
Burning under a blanket of fake snow
On a plastic reminder of happiness past.

Snowflake

Here I am,
Come look at me.
This lovely,
Icey field in green.
That from a forest
In one night,
I make a wilderness
Of white.
By snowey, Icey
Crystals made.
Breath...I vanish instantly.